【#少兒英語# #兒童英語幽默笑話段子#】學(xué)習(xí)英語不能急于求成不可能一口吃成胖子。兒童階段英語學(xué)習(xí)對孩子來說工作量還是很大的，孩子不可能一口吃成胖子，也沒有捷徑可走。如果真要找個捷徑的話，那就是讓孩子輕松、愉快地學(xué)習(xí)，但是時間和精力是必須付出的。如果抱有“速成”的心態(tài)，就要適得其反了。以下是®無憂考網(wǎng)為您整理的《兒童英語幽默笑話段子》，供大家查閱。
1.兒童英語幽默笑話段子
他什么都沒聽到
Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble?" "I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!" After apologizing, I got her parcel. "Oh, good," she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages." "What is it?" I asked. "My husband's new hearing aid."
我在郵局上班，對于顧客們的各種情緒早已習(xí)以為常了。所以，有一天當(dāng)一個生氣的顧客氣沖沖地來到我的工作臺時，我還是非常平靜地問她，“有什么問題嗎?”“我早上上街了，”女顧客說，“我回到家的時候，我看到一個卡片，卡片說郵遞員要給我們家送包裹，但沒人在家�？墒俏业恼煞蛘麄�早上都在家啊。他說他什么都沒聽到”。在表示了歉意之后，我把包裹給了她�！班�，太好了”，那位女顧客喜形于色。“我們等這東西都等多少年了!”“是什么好東西?”我問�！拔艺煞虻男轮犉鳌�。
2.兒童英語幽默笑話段子
小心有狗
As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner. "Yep, that's him," came the reply. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"
一名陌生人走進(jìn)一家鄉(xiāng)間小商店，看到玻璃門上帖著的一個告示牌上寫著，“危險! 小心有狗!” 進(jìn)去后，他看到一條樣子一點都不兇的老狗趴在收款機(jī)旁邊的地板上睡覺。 “這就是大伙都得留神的那只狗啊?” 陌生人問店主�！笆�，就是他”，店主回答。 聽到這個回答， 陌生人覺得很好笑�！拔矣X得那條狗一點都不可怕。 你帖那個告示做什么?” “因為，” 店主解釋說，“在我帖告示之前， 大伙老被他絆倒�！�
3.兒童英語幽默笑話段子
為什么六怕七呢?
Q: Why was six scared of seven?
A: Because seven "ate" nine.
問題：為什么六怕七呢?
回答：因為七連九都能吃掉呢!
(笑點：本應(yīng)該是seven eight nine, 但是利用了發(fā)音相同，將eight用ate(吃)替換掉了。)
用“beans(豆子)”造句
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
一名老師讓學(xué)生們利用單詞“beans(豆子)”造句，其中一個女孩說“我爸爸種豆子”。另外一個同學(xué)說“我媽媽炒豆子”。第三名學(xué)生說“我們是人類”。
(笑點：老師讓用的單詞是beans，豆子的意思，結(jié)果，第三個學(xué)生將beings 和 beans 搞混了，因為發(fā)音相同。)
兩塊蛋糕
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly take this piece and cut it two!
湯姆：媽媽，我可以吃兩塊蛋糕嗎?
媽媽：當(dāng)然可以，拿這塊蛋糕把它切成兩塊吧!
4.兒童英語幽默笑話段子
One
小明上英文課時跟老師說：May I go to the toilet?
老師說：Go ahead.
小明就坐了下來。
過了一會兒，小明又跟老師說：May I go to the toilet?
老師說：Go ahead.
小明又坐了下來。他旁邊的同學(xué)于是忍不住問：你不是跟老師說要上廁所嗎?怎么不去?
小明說：你沒聽老師說“去你個頭”啊!
Two
某日，小明學(xué)習(xí)了how to spell it?這一句型�；丶液�,媽媽看見他手上的玩具表，問道：
媽媽：What’s on your hand?
小明：Watch.
媽媽：How to spell that?
小明：T-H-A-T~
Three
某日，老師教小濤，英語中，姓氏可以放在名字后面。小明放學(xué)后碰到一個外國人，于是他勇敢地上去與外國人對話。
小明：How are you? My name is HongTao Liu.
外國人：Oh, my god! 我還是方片七呢!
Four
一日，小明心情有很好，于是他夸贊英語老師漂亮。
小明：Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful.
老師聽后心花怒放，嘴上還要謙虛一下：“哪里，哪里”。
小明心想：老師的意思就是“Where? Where?"，天哪，還有這樣的人，非要追問哪里漂亮的，干脆馬*拍到底：
"Everywhere, everywhere."
老師：……
Five
小明刻苦學(xué)習(xí)英語，終有小成。一日上街不慎與一老外相撞， 忙說：I am sorry.
老外應(yīng)道：I am sorry too.
小明聽后又道：I am sorry three.
老外不解，問：What are you sorry for?
小明無奈，道：I am sorry five.
Six
一日，小明上課打磕睡，于是英語老師向小明提問。
老師：小明，How are you是什么意思?
小明心想：how是怎么，you 是你，于是回答“怎么是你?”
老師很生氣，又問：“那How old are you ?是什么意思?”
小明心想：old是老的，于是回答怎么老是你?”
5.兒童英語幽默笑話段子
One day a little white rabbit went to a bakery and asked, "Have you got 100 buns?"
一天有只小白兔來到面包店問：“請問你們有100個小面包嗎?”
The shopkeeper answered, "Sorry, we don't have that many."
老板回答：“抱歉我們沒有那么多。”
"Oh, that's a pity!" said the rabbit and left, disappointed.
“哦，太遺憾了。”小白兔失望地離開了。
The second day the little white rabbit went to the bakery again and asked, "Have you got 100 buns?"
第二天小白兔又來到那個面包店問：“請問你們有100個小面包嗎?”
The shopkeeper again answered, "Sorry, we don't have that many."
老板仍回答：“抱歉我們沒有那么多。”
"Oh, it's a pity," said the rabbit, and again left, disappointed.
“哦，太遺憾了�！毙“淄糜质仉x開了。
The third day the little white rabbit went again to the bakery and asked, "Have you got 100 buns?"
第三天小白兔依然來到那家面包店，問：“請問你們有100個小面包嗎?”
"Oh, yes we have 100 buns today!" the shopkeeper answered gladly.
“啊是的，今天我們有100個小面包啦!”老板高興地回答。
"That's great, I'll buy two, thank you!"
“那太好啦!我買2個，謝謝!”
The shopkeeper stood silently.
老板無語了……
